Kicking the Caffeine Habit

Every new year comes with new goals or new plans. Unlike the rest of the world, (at least those who make new year's resolutions), I just decided to make some new plans/goals over the last week.

After being hospitalized, my mind has been in overdrive for too long. I have decided to try and do what is good for MY BODY as well as MY MIND. While it may sound like I'm going crazy, I'm making some drastic changes and hope both my mind and body will benefit from them.

I am going to share my plans/goals with you all. You should feel special! These are big changes and if they don't happen, I become just another statistic of how people fail year after year trying to accomplish said goals.

1. Kicking the caffeine habit. Yup. I am giving a final farewell to soda pop and coffee. I'm torn over this but know it's best for my body. The caffeine is constantly giving me palpitations and keeping me up at night. I didn't mind the "insomnia" while I am at work (and I'm sure my patients appreciate my alertness) however, my body needs to function well when I'm at home and caffeine is not friends with my bowels. I'm hoping that by cutting soda and coffee out of my diet it will in turn make me healthier, make me feel better, and my body in turn shows me some lovin' back. I will not cut cold turkey. Kicking caffeine to the curb does not happen overnight. I have to slowly reduce the amount I consume until I can "safely" end my relationship with caffeine. I want to be healthy, not miserable. And without a little caffeine every day until my body becomes accustomed, I have been getting headaches. So it is a challenge every day to pour a little less coffee in my cup or pass on the soda mid-afternoon. I can do it though. I know I can!

Coca Cola. I love you. You will be missed.

 2. Stop using artificial sweeteners. Let's face it. We all know they are bad. People believe it's linked to cancer (isn't everything though?) and our bodies don't like it. So I will no longer use my favorite low calorie sweetener Sweet 'N Low. That means I will no longer have my favorite tea. Boo to that. My body better love me for this or I will be sad. I heart tea with Sweet 'N Low! I grew up having tea time with my Nana and her sweetener of choice was Sweet 'N Low. But hey, the doctor wants me to give it up and I am willing to do whatever I need to do to make it feel better.

3. Acupuncture. I am now getting acupuncture. I am doing whatever I can to feel my best and although I practice Western medicine, I also believe that Eastern medicine (Chinese especially) has great benefits. My first appointment went well and I look forward to many more. Here's to hoping my body appreciates my efforts.

Yes, I am petrified of needles, however these ones don't hurt. I swear!

 4. Yoga. Yoga is great for many things. It can increase your flexibility. It can help you relax. Overall, it can help you find an inner peace during the chaos of life. I am going to begin practicing yoga and thanks to my husband, I can! He bought me a yoga package for Christmas! Be prepared for some downward dog, mountain and child's poses. Even if I only do it once a week, that is great! I just bought a new yoga mat and am secretly very excited to begin. Thank you Target for carrying awesome mats for a reasonable price. My wallet and body thank you.

My new yoga mat.

 5. Massage. Yup. I am going to splurge on this "luxury" at least once a month. Massage not only helps you to relax, but it helps your body release toxins. Plus, come on, who doesn't love massages? I am very excited about this one!

Here's to hoping my body appreciates my efforts to having a healthier lifestyle. I've been sick for over 12 years and just want to feel better. :-)

Call Lights and Racing Hearts

2012 is already off to a start. Just that, a start.

I found myself having to deal with some unexpected things, including a visit to a place I had not been to in awhile. It does have to do with the title of this blog.

And no, it is not a strip club!

A couple of days into the new year, a year I had decided was going to be a good one, I ended up sick. So sick that I was admitted to the hospital for medical care. Way to start off the new year, Melissa. Way to go.

Wanna hear the best part? THEY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT WAS WRONG. So I've been at home, for the last 5 days, not leaving the house to do anything. I've been a lazy bum because I've been weak and just praying the pain and discomfort go away. Yesterday was the first good day, until the late morning. Then the afternoon got better. I was excited I was feeling better. Until this morning. I woke up to a swollen and painful throat. Now is NOT a good time for any type of cold to come my way. I have to work on Monday and cannot call in.  Lets add another day of praying that this too, will go away.

I'd like to recap my hospital visit. Upon entering the ER via wheelchair, the ER staff was great. I was greeted immediately, vitals done, IV started, fluid bolus going, pain medication given, anti-nausea medication given. Turns out, it was a VERY good thing I went to the ER. My heart was racing in the 140s upon admission, my blood pressure low enough to need 2 fluid boluses to help raise it. No wonder I was passing out. I had a fever over 103 degrees F. They decided to keep me for observation and assigned me to a room.



I was admitted to the floor I work on, which was great. I felt comfortable with my care because my floor has some amazing nurses on it. It was also a little awkward. They probably saw more of me than they ever imagined they would in their lifetime, found out my extensive health history that some of my coworkers had no clue about, yet always came in with a smile and my drugs to make the pain go away. And for that, I am eternally grateful for. The pain was bad.

During my stay, I tried my absolute best to avoid using the call light. I didn't want to be a burden to my coworkers. And of course the two times I used it, the secretary answered it and the speaker was in my ear and it was loud.  Oh, I had a headache.

I have not been on the patient side of things in over 4 years. And although I wish it could have been longer, I have a new perspective on my job. I noticed the nurses are very busy (well, this I already know, I am one and I am always busy) and they don't come into the rooms as often as I thought they would. This had me thinking... am I there for my patients? Don't get me wrong, my coworkers were awesome! They let me sleep a little longer than most, were extremely polite and understanding, and answered all of my questions. I received great care.

The hospital is a very lonely and scary place. You have no privacy, people you only know as strangers are poking and prodding at you. You are sick, have no clue what is going on and have your very life in these strangers hands. You pray you get better to go home. The thought of sleeping in your own bed haunts your mind. It's loud at times, you don't get good sleep, and are all around miserable.

So, while I'm not usually one to make any new years resolutions, I have decided that I am going to be better at my job. These patients need compassionate care and I know I give it. I just want to do better!

I would like to thank my place of employment for being so kind and caring during my time of need. It brings this huge sense of pride to work for this facility and I am thankful to have the opportunity to do so. :-) 

Anniversary

I was in bed yesterday, about to fall asleep and end the busy weekend when it hit me. I can't believe I forgot about it. One of the biggest, life changing days of my life, and I just forgot about it.

I'm not alone though. My family, husband, and friends (although, why would they have that date memorized?) forgot too.

Yesterday marked my 5 year anniversary. 5 YEARS!

What anniversary, you ask? The anniversary of the day that my life and body changed forever. The day that I woke up from a sigmoidoscopy and knew something wasn't right. The feeling of impending doom overtook me and I told my mom, "something isn't right, get the doctor." The nurses told me it was just gas and everything will be ok. I told them to get the doctor to me or I will start screaming.... that is how serious I was and how I knew something was wrong. I don't go throwing fits in hospitals, I was an adult.

Needless to say, I was right. I needed emergency surgery or I would die.

5 years ago yesterday was the day that I "woke up with" a colostomy and my life changed forever. I spent MONTHS in the hospital recuperating because I was septic. I had tubes down my nose into my stomach, tubes in my throat, oxygen, multiple IVs, the works. 5 years ago, I celebrated Christmas in the hospital. And while I cannot remember anything from the time the doctor told me I needed surgery until Christmas Eve, I will never forget anything that I experienced.

Generally, on December 18th, I take some time to reflect, have a small pity party, be thankful I'm still alive and realize that I am lucky to be where I am today. My parents were troopers for staying with me around the clock and I appreciate all that they had done for me during that time. My now husband and I had just started dating and he was even there for me every day after work.

Yet, this weekend was so busy with my sister's graduation, family being in town and errands that my very important anniversary (to me anyway) had been forgotten until 11:50pm last night. It makes me sad that I was unable to really reflect upon that day. It was a huge day in the history books for me and I like to acknowledge it. However, if I completely forgot about it all, then maybe my day was a good one? Either way, it has come and gone and I now sit here blogging about it.

I know there are other more important days to "celebrate" or have anniversaries over. But hey, if you didn't live it, you just don't know. And even though I no longer have this colostomy, (I now have a permanent ileostomy) I still think of December 18th as a day to remember. I experienced challenges and overcame them.

I usually don't pray all that often. I believe God has it out for me and I can't catch a break health wise. It's been almost 12 years since I've gone a whole year without complications. However, on December 18th, I generally pray and say thanks to Him for keeping me on this planet.

I am a good person, and while I don't agree with everything I've had to deal with, I am very thankful to be here to experience what life has to offer.

The Chaos of the Holidays

Why is it that this time of year is pure chaos?

The roads are busier, the malls are busier, my calendar is busier. When do I get a break or a day for me?

That doesn't look like it's coming for a while now. I am finally starting to get excited for Christmas, yet have so much to do! My list is not getting smaller, it is actually growing each day. There is one week left until Christmas Eve and I do not have my shopping finished.

Start stressing now!

I did, however, make time to have lunch with friends, see a broadway play in Detroit and spend an afternoon running errands with my husband. It all made up for the really bad start to my week.

Dinner in Detroit

I have never eaten at Fishbone's before. It was really good! The food was great, the wine sweet and the prices decent. My sister and I fully enjoyed our meals.


We then headed over to the Detroit Opera House and enjoyed our show from the balcony. I will never think of the Wizard of Oz in the same way again.

What a Wickedly Awesome show!

And now, I need to head to bed. My little sister graduates from college tomorrow morning and I have to be up early to watch it. Yes, I will be sleep deprived and probably crabby in the morning. However, I will definitely be a proud big sister when I hear her name called and she has that one moment when she realizes that the whole world is waiting for her as she walks across that stage!

Do you feel the holiday chaos, or is it just me?!

Awareness

How has December been for you, so far?

I has been quite exciting for me! Senate passed Resolution 199, making December 1-7 Crohn's and Colitis Awareness week! This is big news. Really, BIG! The fact that we are making it to the Senate and White House to help out the 1.4 million people suffering from this "embarrassing" ailment feel more comfortable speaking out and seeking treatment is definitely something to shout from the rooftops. We are hoping that this will accelerate proper diagnosis and treatment to those who have been misdiagnosed for years or have been ignoring their symptoms!

I proudly flashed this all over Facebook.

While I know I raise Awareness everyday and am not embarrassed to talk to others about my issues, other people may not feel the same way. I've been lucky enough to have an amazing support group throughout the years. My family, friends, and friends I've made through CCFA support groups have all been there with me through the highs and lows of my disease. In my family, we can talk about anything at the dinner table, including, but not limited to, bowels. Why be embarrassed? Didn't we all read the book, "Everyone Poops?"

We all do it. Don't try to say you don't!

Facebook groups were blowing up their Awareness for IBD. And I was loving every second of it!

I felt that way once.... but now, I know I can fight it!

Even magazines like Cosmo was trying to raise awareness.

Although, they did not hit the mark when it comes to ostomies. This story actually caused me to write an email to Cosmo telling them I am ashamed of the article and the woman trying to tell her story did not sound educated. (She has her Psy.D and is a therapist.) She made it seem like having an ostomy was the worst thing to happen to her in her entire life. While I may have felt that way at one point too, it saved my life and I am eternally grateful for it.

Read it here.

Yes, not everyone will love their ostomy. I know I hate mine. But I don't have the option to reverse mine. She describes her ostomy as a "poopbag" and after reversal "when I woke up from the last surgery and wasn't attached to the bag, it was the best feeling in the world."


Everyone who has to deal with issues like this deserves their own opinion and the right to share their story. However, as a therapist, you would think she would want to help remove the stigma ostomies have attached to them, as she had to live with one for awhile. She cheapened and degraded the ostomy community. For many, ostomies are as important to saving lives as pacemakers, blood transfusions and organ transplants. If everyone were to talk about their ostomy experience in such negative light, I'm fearful many people out there would choose to die rather than deal with it. The object of raising awareness is not to make people fearful, but to voice the support there is out there. I'm sorry Cosmo, but that story received a big thumbs down from the social network of supporters out there.

In brighter light, I follow this motivational blogger who lives in NYC. Her name is Ali and she also has Crohn's disease. Ali loves to run and is always trying to raise awareness of IBD. In fact, she has sold tshirts to help do so (and run in races for Team Challenge, part of CCFA's half marathon training program). While her shirts have been sold out for awhile now, they are available again! I am excited to say I am going to buy one. Check them out and place an order yourself if you are interested!

I am hoping to one day be a part of Team Challenge. Part of that is raising money to help find a cure. Maybe I can come up with some awesome tshirt design and have you all support me and raise awareness too. Stay tuned!


Please educate people on IBD. Let's not have Awareness just be one week long, but all year long!

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

Yesterday was the first snowfall of the year that stuck. Then it melted away today.

I hate admitting it, but waking up to snow on the trees was actually a really pretty sight. However, I was ecstatic it was not on the roads. For some reason, every winter, the lovely people of Michigan forget how to drive in the snow. I really don't understand why. It snows here 4-5 months of the year, EVERY YEAR. Oh well, I better get used to waking up earlier over the next 4 months. Or reteaching Michiganders how to drive. Not sure I have the time or the patience for the second one.

I finally pulled out my winter coat. And hat. And scarf/gloves/Ugg boots. I am also wearing leg warmers and a sweatshirt. Why? Because baby, it's cold outside!

I will be the first to admit I hate being cold and I hate the winter. It's cold and windy out. Not to mention I happen to be cold inside, too. The sun goes into hiding (although that is a plus for my sleeping habits!) and motivation levels tend to drop.  Apparently my puppy is even feeling the winter's affects already. He has been sleeping more over the last few weeks. Not sure if he's sick or just feeling blah due to the gloomy weather.

Sleepy puppy!

And while I am not a fan of being cold, in the month of December I don't mind it AS MUCH. Why might you ask? Because it is my favorite time of year! Christmas is coming!!!

I love the holidays. I love spending time with my family and decorating and buying presents... and of course getting them, but the wrapping/giving/seeing facial reactions to said gifts are better. I love the Christmas lights and holiday music! Everything about this time of year is great!

The Christmas lights are so pretty at night!

And thanks to my new found love of Pinterest, I have been buying supplies to make some wonderful Christmas gifts this year. Now is as good of time as any to get crafty! I think my husband is freaking out about the money I'm spending, but he's super happy I've found a new hobby. I'll let you know how it all goes.

Until then, bundle up and stay warm, because baby, it's cold outside!

What It's Like to Have Support

For those of you out there who are struggling with life situations, make sure you have a great support system.

It doesn't matter if you are deciding to change college majors or buy a home. It can be something small or big or even huge, like struggling with health issues.

When you surround yourself with wonderful people, the big things don't always seem as big because you have people there sharing that burden with you. You can talk to them, cry with them, listen for advice or just have them there for a familiar face. The little things that those supportive people do for you during your struggle will mean more to you in the future than at the given second they are there. Why? Because you don't want to dwell on the miserable, but will always remember the struggles you went through to get to where you are today.

I can honestly say I have one great support system. Other people were better at it than others, but I will always remember the love, hugs, and support I received during my lowest times.

If you care to read about one of my stories, feel free here.


If you don't feel comfortable talking to friends or family about your current situation or crisis, check out your community's support groups. There are a ton out there and I will be the first to admit I've gone to many of these! I made great friends and know they can relate to exactly what I have gone through.

Just remember, you are never alone! All you have to do is talk. :-)